Following Hunches - I'm so Glad I Did!

Finding the artist was easy - probably due to beginner's luck, but finding the right graphic designer for the websites is starting to feel like a quest for the Holy Grail. After losing the first one to her own writing dreams, it was a relief to find the second who was clearly skilled and talented, and with a wide range of experience. The only thing I didn't like about her during our meeting was a criticism - and an unnecessary, inaccurate criticism - about BANE's work. To me, it seemed she was undermining the work of another artist, as well as our collaboration going back and forth on getting Ella Bandita's expression right.

So for her to show signs of unreliability at the very beginning of our working relationship was... stunning, actually. She never acknowledged that she flaked and never apologized. She definitely tried to make up for it by doing up a mock website, but she also got ahead of herself. I'm sure this method has worked for her often in the past, while protecting her ego, but the way she handled it made me really uncomfortable. But she was talented and skilled and it's such a pain in the ass to look for another designer, and maybe communicating would help smooth things over. Yet I didn't have a good feeling about this. I saw a lot of butting heads and relying on somebody who has already shown herself to be unreliable and who has not proven her accountability - in a nutshell, somebody who'd increase my level of stress in an area where I'm the weakest - the Internet. I was thinking that I was embarking on not just 1 but 2 websites that would form the hub of my "online presence" that is not considered so necessary to market myself. And I was thinking this is going to be an ongoing working relationship. Do I really want to build a working relationship that is already off to a bumpy start? When I really don't have to?

So, I didn't. I was stumped. I had to think about it for 2 days - and finally decided after two days that this wouldn't work. She had to nudge me before I got back to her. She sent me an email asking if I'd gotten her estimate - the same estimate it took her three days to get to me. I think I was fair. I wrote her back and detailed to her my thought process in coming to my decision, and that I regretted it. I wasn't sure if I was even doing the right thing, but I just didn't feel good about working with her anymore. And it was her job to keep rapport with me. I'm the client. It's not my job to understand her and give her another chance if I don't want to. Later that evening, I posted on Craigslist in gigs - this time breaking the job down in two. In Creative, I advertised for a graphic designer for the book cover and interior - someone who could also convert the manuscript to the Kindle, Nook, iPad, etc. And in Computer, I posted for a website designer. Within an hour, the Book Cover post had been flagged and within a few hours, the Website Designer post had been flagged. I used much of the same verbage in those as I had used in the post where we met. Perhaps it was a coincidence, and somebody else other than the woman I just let go was the one who had my posts removed. But I don't think so.

How many times have we heard horror stories where somebody goes through trials and tribulations on the path to getting royally screwed, only to have the tale of woe conclude with: "And there were problems from the very beginning. I just didn't feel comfortable and wish I'd gone with that..."

Yeah. I'm feeling pretty good about the bullet I just dodged.

Getting the Characters Right... as well as the Collaborators.

Dennis - Artist's name is BANE at banedarkart.com - is a pleasure to work with. And he's been very patient with me in getting the character sketches right because I've made him go over a lot. That's one thing I like about self-publishing is choosing who I want to work with. I still haven't decided on how to handle the website/graphic designer. I still haven't communicated with her my concerns - or made a decision one way or the other to work with her or look for yet another website designer. Which kind of sucks. On the other hand, why work with somebody who may only increase my stress? Especially when I have a choice?

But now for the fun stuff. The subtle changes to transform my characters as I want them: Starting with his original sketches:

I loved the 3/4 profile of Ella Bandita. The Wanderer was all wrong - this dude looks ready to slay dragons!

Here, I asked Dennis to widen her mouth, make her hair more golden and less washed out, as well as make her look less weary and defeated. The changes are subtle, but I like it.

And now for the Wanderer. He needs to be softened up a bit, so I sent Dennis photos of a kid I was in massage school with who died tragically because Jude had the "right eyes."

But he looks way too soft and innocent here. Given that an explicit sex scene will happen between the two characters, the Wanderer needs to look sexy enough that Ella Bandita would want to sleep with him.

But it's a fun process, yeah? I'm enjoying this!

Self Publishing Soapbox

Hey y'all,

Perhaps I'm feeling the unrealistic optimism of a new dawn. As I get closer and closer to the time when I will get the softcover version ready for print on demand and the first novelette ready for Amazon, and other ebook reader apps, I'm excited for how much things have changed for writers in the last 7 years since I first hit the road with my collection, "Ella Bandita and other stories." I remember somebody telling me I needed to start a blog and thinking, "Huh?" And then my email journal became a blog for JuneauMusic.com and a lot of folks in Juneau who hadn't been on my email list got to read about it.

I also remember the discomfort of a lot of agents and editors over what Amazon was doing. Bully or not, love them or hate them, they've turned traditional upside down on its ass and the authors that are getting out of their contracts and leaving the big 6 behind - and think of how many hoops they had to jump through in order to get there - definitely prove that things are changing so fast, and even if I have to work my ass off online and in person and in life to get my stuff out there, it is possible to be successful at this.

As far as appealing to the traditional publishers/agents/editors are concerned, I've accrued 40 rejections. And that's nothing compared to what many authors go through. But plenty of my rejection letters state something about the "realities of the publishing marketplace." Yeah. They're not exactly clamoring for new writers. But that's not what gets to me. What gets to me more than anything else around traditional publishing is the elitist bullshit behind it. I feel like I'm back in high school, trying to gain acceptance into the popular crowd. Don't get me wrong, I've met a lot of nice people in this field through all the conferences I've attended, the pitches I've made, and my work has been rejected very kindly and with a few flattering notes. But the dynamic is whacked - it's stifling, there's nothing expansive about it. So how can unique stories or new voices find a stage? Where's the room to grow or open to new ideas? In a pitch session, I was expected to compare my work to others - so they could get a sense of what it was about or what pigeonhole to stick me in. It never occurred to them that the influence behind my work was stuff I'd read so long ago, I could never remember where it came from. But what was most troubling was that they expected imitation.

Another problem with publishing really, is that the privileged have taken it over. I don't remember the exact wording of his quote and Tolstoy is hardly my favorite of the classic authors, but I remember he said that Great art is created by extremely unhappy people... And as much as I hate to admit it, he's right. I know my best stories come from my darkest hours and my most excruciating pain. Go to a writer's conference and I'm confronted with an agent or editor who often was educated at an Ivy School, had to compete pretty brutally to get the job they had, and very likely came from an upper-middle class background with some level of stability/conformity that set the standard for family life and where that family fit in the community. Nothing wrong with that, and I wish I had come from that kind of background. But I didn't. And my work reflects that. But a lot of people don't and my work is for them. So how are these people going to see me or "get it" about my work. They haven't and they don't.

This attitude has poisoned contemporary writing. I've practically given up on fiction because so many times I've gotten into a story only to have it collapse by the middle, and end in a mess of hastily tied loose strings - often times that were never connected to begin with. And how many conferences have I gone to where I heard that my "first fifty pages have to be perfect." And that's what's happening with writers - they're so obsessed with getting their first 50 immaculate instead of building a wonderful story as a cohesive whole.

Enough of my rant. I've checked out some of the self-pubbed authors on Amazon. Some of the writing is really deplorable, other writing has potential is really green, still others is pretty good. But good for them for putting their stuff out there and I love Amazon for giving them and me an opportunity to do so. They've provided a stage where my voice can be heard - whether the audience is one or one hundred or one hundred thousand or even a million, a million+, they've really empowered the lone writers like me and the readers who now have the potential to find us.

Collaboration can be a Beautiful Thing, but...

Hey y'all,

It's weird for me to be the "boss," as I'm looking for others to work with who are strong where I am not, and deciding who is a good fit and who is not. Already, I've lost my original website/graphic designer, who got a loan to do her own writing. And I've turned down two people - a graphic designer and freelance editor - that I had every intention of hiring until I talked to them over the phone for personality clash reasons more than anything else. I'm now considering letting go of another before we get started - again personality clash, but she's also showing signs of flakiness. Given that she's in charge of designing not just one, but two websites - the hub of the online presence that is so necessary to be successful in self-publishing - that makes me really nervous. Especially because she's being awfully high-handed in what is likely to be overcompensating. I don't appreciate her telling the illustrator I've hired what to do, without checking in with me first.

She's good, and her prices are fair. She's also capable of doing everything I need her to. But will it be a pleasure to work with her? Or will this arm of collaboration only add to my stress? But if I let her go, I have to start all over again finding somebody else and that is such a pain in the a**.

This is a new role for me. And it's interesting.

Adventures in Self-Publishing!!!

Hey y’all,

I know it's been a ridiculous amount of time since I posted, but I'm back. And I'm back to adventures in self-publishing. It’s a lot of responsibility and work, but I love the freedom of it, and I can do this how I want to. With the internet and the ebook explosion, there is more opportunities now than ever before for a self-published – ahem, I mean indie author to do things in his/her own way.

For instance, choosing the artist to do the illustration for Ella Bandita and the Wanderer. I put a post up on Craigslist that went like this:

“In a nutshell, I’ve written a novel and am looking to self-publish. I need an artist to design 1 book cover for both e-book publishing and print on demand. And I may need 4 more book covers for e-book if I decide to release the novel in 4 parts. The novel is fantasy – in the style of folklore/fairy tale/fables of pre-Industrial Europe. In other words, think of Vagabonds, Courtesans, horses, guns, talismans, and magic – the past, not the future. I prefer a finer-detailed, realistic style and somebody who is an artist/illustrator first and a computer graphic designer second. If you also have experience with designing websites and linking one site to the next, that is not necessary, but it would be an outstanding bonus. As far as pay is concerned, of course I want to keep it within a reasonable budget, but I’m flexible as well as honest. This is most likely the ideal job for somebody who just finished school and is getting started in this field. I’m a DIY amateur learning as I go, and am looking for somebody awesome to collaborate with.

Please put “Book Cover” in the subject line and send a cover letter, resume, 1-3 samples of your work, what you charge, and a fair estimate of how long it will take you to finish the initial assignment of one book cover. I will contact those whose samples I like for an interview, and we’ll go from there.

Thank you for reading.”

I took the post down within 4 hours. Plenty of answers – everything from “I’ll do it for free!” with no samples to pretty talented amateurs, to the artist that I ultimately went with. Nobody could touch his work. BANE at banedarkart.com. I sent him some sample pieces of writing and a picture of Tom Brady and said:

“Make Tom Brady into a woman and that’s a good place to start with Ella Bandita.”

And did he ever come through in his first attempt!